Human Error
by blod1tatws
Summary: About 6 months ago is when I realised my feelings were not just some strange illness I may have gotten from an experiment. -SH


I'm at the shops. You need anything? JW

_Nitroglycerin. –SH_

Not that kind of shop, Sherlock. JW

_You haven't been going to the right kind, then. –SH_

No, food is in the right kind. JW

Fancy some noodles for tonight? JW

_Not very hungry. Whatever you wish to make will be fine. –SH_

You will it. JW

*eat it. Damn. JW

Texting and shopping clearly don't mix. JW

_You texting whilst doing anything never mix. –SH_

Are you implying that I'm technologically challenged? JW

_Your password on your computer is JHWatson. -SH_

_I'm not implying anything, I am stating the obvious. -SH_

Well, it's easy for me to remember. JW

And you're the man who didn't know how to work the DVD player. JW

_DVD players are not a necessity. I don't watch movies. –SH_

We can watch boxsets of great TV shows, though. JW

Oh look, Breaking Bad is on offer at Tesco's. JW

Might buy it. We'll watch it tonight. JW

_It is as likely that I will watch it with you as it is that I will eat. -SH_

_Meaning I am not doing either. –SH_

You will do both. That's an order. JW

_An order? –SH_

_Is that so, Captain? –SH_

Yes it is, Holmes. Or there will be punishment. JW

_Punishment sounds more appealing than watching a boring American show. –SH_

Not the kind of punishment I'm thinking... JW

_Watching that show is punishment. –SH_

How about watching a boxset of Friends? JW

_Oh god. -SH_

_Not again. -SH_

Oh yes. Season 5, baby! JW

_Your taste in television is terrible. –SH_

Your tastes in shirts are terrible. JW

_My shirts are impeccable. –SH_

They're...clingy. JW

_I've gained weight. -SH_

_They used to fit much better, if not a little loose before you moved in. –SH_

Because I feed you up. JW

_Exactly. -SH_

_You have no right to complain about the tightness of my shirts since you are what caused the problem. –SH_

I'm not complaining too much... JW

_Aren't you? –SH_

No. I like that purple one. JW

_It definitely wouldn't fit you. –SH_

No shit, Sherlock! JW

It suits you, that's all I'm saying. JW

_Amusing, yet crude alliteration, John. -SH_

_Right. –SH_

You lube crude alliteration. JW

Oh shit. I meant love. JW

Damn auto-correct. JW

_Freudian slip, John? -SH_

_Right. -SH_

_It's not the only thing I lube. -SH_

_Oh, right, Love. You meant love. –SH_

It was auto-correct. It's your fault anyway, you set it up! JW

Woah...JW

_You cannot blame me for you not knowing how to set up your own autocorrect. -SH_

_Woah? It was a joke, John. You usually enjoy crude humour when Glenn says it. –SH_

Oh. A joke. Cool. JW

_Well, I do lubricate things. –SH_

LIKE? JW

_Many experiments cause for slick surfaces. –SH_

Oh, right. Someone like you would use lube for those purposes. JW

_The slide on my microscope. -SH_

_Or my arse. -SH_

_You know, normal things. –SH_

Do I need to ask? Your arse, Sherlock? JW

_Use your imagination. -SH_

_I'm sure you already are. –SH_

I never knew you...did those things. JW

What are you doing, "cheating" on your work? JW

_Very funny. –SH_

Thank you. JW

_You can be from time to time. -SH_

I'll take that as a compliment. JW

_My work and I have an open relationship lately. -SH_

Wait. You're with someone now? JW

_Not exactly. -SH_

What do you mean? JW

_I am not with anyone in the way I am sure you are envisioning. -SH_

Oh. In any...romantic sense then? JW

_No. -SH_

_We are only friends. -SH_

Oh. Have I met him? I assume it's a him. JW

_You have met him, yes. -SH_

_It doesn't matter, anyway, John. -SH_

_He is very much not interested in me. -SH_

You never know, stranger things have happened. JW

Have you told him? JW

_Of course not. -SH_

_I couldn't. -SH_

_He is far too important. -SH_

_Telling him will ruin everything. -SH_

I'm sure he'd understand. JW

If you're such good friends. JW

_Perhaps we should not talk about this any longer. -SH_

Maybe I can help? JW

You know, leave hints for this person. JW

I'm your wingman, I want to see you happy! JW

Or I could kick his arse, if that would help? JW

_You would be helpful if you'd just leave it. -SH_

_How would kicking his arse help in any way? -SH_

He's making you unhappy. JW

You're mopey. JW

_He isn't. -SH_

_I am not. -SH_

_I am fine. -SH_

_I have been fine, and will be fine. -SH_

You're not fine. JW

I know you. JW

_I was not moping until you brought this up. -SH_

_It is also quite impossible for you to kick his arse. -SH_

I was in the Army, I can do worse than that. JW

Well, you were moping silently then...JW

You haven't been yourself in weeks. JW

You even missed a great opportunity to insult Anderson yesterday. That's not like you. JW

_It's nothing. -SH_

_Aren't you coming home with food and a boring television show? -SH_

Tell me. I'm your best friend. JW

Can't find the milk. JW

Plus there's a horrific line for the tills. I might be here a while. JW

_John, believe me when I tell you there is nothing you can do. I have accepted that he can never be mine. I still do have my work. -SH_

Everyone deserves love. JW

_I don't. -SH_

Yes you do, Sherlock.

Don't you dare think otherwise! JW

Is he so bad that you can't tell me who he is? JW

_He is not bad. He is the best man I have ever known. -SH_

Then I'm sure he will understand if you explain to him. JW

Plus, that rules out Anderson then ;) JW

_And I am fine not having him, if he knowing about my annoying sentiment will make him leave, I would rather keep him as my friend. -SH_

_Don't be disgusting, John. -SH_

_You can't have serious thought I would ever want Anderson. -SH_

That's what happens when you're being so mysterious. JW

Is it Greg? JW

_Who is Greg? -SH_

Greg! Greg Lestrade! JW

_No. -SH_

_He is off limits. -SH_

_Not that I would have thought of him that way. -SH_

_He is more of a mother figure than anything. -SH_

He's off limits? I thought he and his wife had separated? JW

_Please stop trying to guess, John . -SH_

Then tell me. JW

It won't kill you. JW

_I can't. -SH_

_It may. -SH_

Why? Does he have a gun? haha! JW

_Well, he does. -SH_

Haha, is it me? JW

[Delay] _No. -SH_

There was a minute gap between our texts. You never leave it that long... JW

Sherlock? JW

_No. -SH_

Sherlock! JW

_My phone turned itself off. The battery must be dying. -SH_

Do you mean to say...that I..um. JW

_No. -SH_

_No, John. -SH_

_No. -SH_

_Stop it. -SH_

_It's nothing. -SH_

Oh my god. JW

OH. JW

_Please. -SH_

I, um- JW

_Right. -SH_

_I understand. -SH_

_I had asked you to not pry. -SH_

I didn't think it could be-um, sorry, JW

_You have barely a reason to apologize. -SH_

_I am sorry, John. -SH_

No. No. Don't apologise. JW

I'm sorry, Sherlock. I've reacted like an imbecile. JW

I- thank you. For being so honest. JW

_I have not been very honest, John. -SH_

_If I had been honest, I would have told you from the beginning instead of attempting to hide it throughout most of our conversation. -SH_

The beginning? JW

_When you first started asking about my possible romantic interest. -SH_

Oh. So when did you start feeling this way? JW

Shit, they've ran out of whisky. JW

_About 6 months ago is when I realised my feelings were not just some strange illness I may have gotten from an experiment. -SH_

_You wish to drink. -SH_

6 months?! JW

They have wine. JW

_It's impossible to pinpoint exactly when I started to conduct this human error. -SH_

A human error?! Is that what you call it? JW

_It is an error. I shouldn't feel this way toward you. -SH_

_You could never reciprocate. -SH_

Sherlock, you can't-you don't know how I- JW

_I just wish we can still remain friends. -SH_

_You do not need to worry. It doesn't have to be any different. -SH_

Friends... JW

_I will never force myself upon you. -SH_

_I understand how undesirable I am. -SH_

You could get it out of your system, haha! JW

Shit, that was a bad joke, sorry! JW

_I would never take advantage of you. -SH_

_I am sure these feelings will pass, they must. You needn't be afraid of me. -SH_

_Please, don't leave. -SH_

I know, Sherlock. I trust you with my life. JW

And my heart. JW

_I'm glad. -SH_

_What do you mean? -SH_

Haven't you realised it? God, I thought I was being so obvious in the last few months. JW

_John? -SH_

I love you, you daft sod. JW

Bit weird to say that for the first time by texting you in the middle of the alcohol aisle of Tesco. JW

I know I reacted weirdly earlier, but it was only because I was so shocked. JW

_You were willing to help me with my romantic troubles when you thought it wasn't you. -SH_

_You wanted me to be happy at the cost of your own? -SH_

That you, the bloody brilliant and beautiful Sherlock Holmes could have feelings for me...I mean, it's unbelievable. JW

I would do anything, anything in the world, if it meant you being happy. JW

_I will be honest saying it comes as a bigger shock to me that you could want me. -SH_

_I just want you, John. -SH_

How could anyone not want you, Sherlock? You're everything. JW

_I'm rude, I'm mean, I don't think about others, I say inappropriate things, I don't have a heart. -SH_

_I could go on. -SH_

And I love every single thing about you. You do have a heart, you're just afraid to show it. JW

_You are a far better man than I could ever wish to be, John. -SH_

Don't. You have saved me, Sherlock. You have saved my life by just being in your presence. JW

You'll never know how alone I was before I met you. JW

I was meant to meet you. JW

_And I, you. -SH_

_You mean everything to me, John. -SH_

_I will be able to tolerate never having a case again with minimal complaining, as long as I have you. -SH_

_Before you, all I had was the work, or cocaine. -SH_

_I owe you my very life, John Watson. -SH_

And I you, Sherlock Holmes. JW

_And I was willing to forgo my own happiness for you. -SH_

People are looking at me funny. I seem to have a massive smile on my face. JW

Words cannot explain how I feel hearing-well, reading-those things. JW

I am not worthy of you. But I will prove my undying love for you every single day. JW

_You don't need to prove anything, John. -SH_

_Just be you. -SH_

_However, if we do do this. -SH_

_I have to warn you, I will not change. -SH_

I hope you bloody don't! JW

_I will be cold, I will ignore you from time to time. I won't notice when you're there, I won't notice when you've gone. -SH_

I love you in spite of those things, Sherlock. I always want you be yourself. JW

_I am glad we are in agreement. -SH_

_I do, however, crave human contact. -SH_

_In sexual ways, or just... casual. -SH_

_Well, not human contact. I crave your contact. -SH_

Same. Like you wouldn't believe. JW

I am on my way home. Just grabbing some...essentials. JW

_Nitroglycerin? -SH_

NO! JW

And I was accused of being obtuse earlier... JW

_But it is essential. -SH_

Not for what I have in mind. JW

_Oh. -SH_

Yes, 'oh'. JW

_Of course. -SH_

_You mean. -SH_

_Should I lubricate? -SH_

What-? No, no that's fine. I think it requires a doctor to do that. JW

_I do believe I have the perfect doctor for the job. -SH_

I can think of a few jobs I can do. JW

_Perhaps I should call him. -SH_

You do that. I'm sure he's waiting for your call. JW

_Last I heard, he was in a crowded area. -SH_

_My call may not be appreciated. -SH_

Oh. Right. That might be awkward. JW

_Precisely. -SH_

You could always text the bloke. I'm sure he can read. JW

_I would hope that a doctor could read and write. -SH_

Have you seen their handwriting? JW

It's not even words. JW

_My doctor's handwriting is better than my own. -SH_

Your handwriting is beautiful. JW

STUPID CHIP AND PIN MACHINE. JW

I would rob this place if it would mean getting back to you as quickly as possible. JW

_Perhaps you should use an actual teller? -SH_

Massive queue. JW

And I don't think I'm fit to interact with humans at this moment...JW

_Nor machinery. -SH_

Machinery doesn't have eyes. JW

_True. –SH_

_So you're saying your physical state isn't appropriate for human eyes? -SH_

Yes. JW

Except for one person. JW

_I hope I am that person. -SH_

No, I meant Anderson. JW

Of course you, you wonderful sod. JW

_You're being disgusting again. -SH_

At least it helped my...situation a bit. JW

_Pity. -SH_

Oh don't worry. Soldiers always stand to attention when prompted. JW

_Is that how it is, Captain? -SH_

I hope you have the right skills. JW

_I will try my best to please you, Captain. -SH_

_Whatever it takes. -SH_

Finally. I'm on my way home. I can't wait to see you. To touch you. To hear you. To just be with you. JW

_I agree. -SH_

_I need you, John. -SH_

Quick question though; have you ever done this before? JW

_I have had sex before. -SH_

_I have not had a successful romantic relationship, however. -SH_

Was it with a man? JW

_Yes. -SH_

How long ago? JW

_5 years ago. –SH_

Were you...in love with him? JW

_No. -SH_

Just sex? JW

_It was more of a business transaction. -SH_

Business transaction?! Wait-JW

He wasn't a prostitute was he? JW

_No. if anyone was the prostitute, most would have considered it was me. -SH_

Oh god, it was for drugs weren't it? JW

_Do you want me to lie? -SH_

I want you to be honest. JW

I love you regardless. JW

_It was for drugs. -SH_

Were you safe? JW

_Yes. -SH_

_I have also been tested, I am clean. -SH_

_I know that is your worry. -SH_

I worry about your safety and health, Sherlock. JW

_I am healthy. -SH_

Good.

I'm 5 minutes away. JW

_You still want me? –SH_

I always want you. JW

For so long, I have wanted you. I have needed you. JW

_As have I. -SH_

Your past means nothing to me. It's the right now that I want. JW

And the future. JW

_Thank you. -SH_

_I have not loved any of my previous sexual partners. -SH_

_Even men within which I had been in a semblance of a relationship. -SH_

Have there been many? JW

_No. -SH_

I hope you're not planning for any more either. JW

_Of course not. -SH_

I'm nearly there. JW

_I am hoping to love the next one. -SH_

You are the only person I have truly loved. JW

_I thought myself incapable of love until you. –SH_

I'm home. JW


End file.
